The Colonel's Forum

While doing time here in France, I have picked up on some (they are limitless) of the nuances of being a young Frenchman. If you're 16-22: It's OK to wear capri pants It's OK to drive a scooter around town Any 80s hairstyle is acceptable. You get bonus points if it involves gel, mousse and hairspray, and also for combining styles, like the mohawk-mullett. In terms of fashion, sports apparel is the order of the day. All-white is perfectly acceptable. The shoes must be Puma - ideally the motorsports "slipper" type Bling is essential - gold is preferred to silver, of course

It was an exciting Sunday here in Clermont Ferrand. Normally that would be an oxymoron, but this was not a normal Sunday. Jean-Marc and his wife Beatrice picked me up this morning and drove me out to Mauzun - a very small village about 20 miles from Clermont Ferrand. We went to see the castle there, and also because the were having a medieval festival today. The drive itself was really neat because it finally gave me a chance to see some of the Auvergne region. The terrain here is generally rolling hills that are broken up by river valleys. The exception to this is the chain of "puys" (pronounced pwees) that are inactive volcanos. The primary crops you see being grown are corn and sunflowers. We saw acre upon acre of enormous sunflowers, which is really something. The castle Mauzun is one of the finest examples of medieval defensive castles I have ever seen. Three perimiter walls of increasing diameter. The middle wall had 16 towers on it - one for each village in the...

There is a lot going on in France these next few days. Here are some highlights: 1) Tomorrow is the world cup final between France and Italy. I cannot describe how big an event this is for the French. Of course you know that soccer is a lot bigger over here, but to have a world cup final between two teams that are such big rivals, and to have Brazil and Germany NOT make the finals - this is big time stuff. Even this relatively small town of Clermont Ferrand is throwing one enormous party at the town square for the big game. They have erected a 40 foot big-screen at "Place de Jaude" where they will broadcast the game. Festivities begin tomorrow at 12pm, game is at 8pm France time. I've been warned that I might not get much sleep tomorrow night because sometimes people will party in the streets all night. 2) Next week is July 14th. In America we call it Bastille day, but here it is simply referred to as July 14th. It's the French independence day, but with a ...

I'm back in France, and it's everything I remember. The Charles DeGaulle airport is absolutely the worst airport on the planet. When we landed and parked at our gate, we had to wait about 20 minutes before getting off the plane. They had to call the bus you see, so that when we walked down the stairs off our 767, we had a bus to board. One of the ironies here is that of my past 8 Delta flights, the previous 7 were late (for reasons OTHER than weather). The arrival at CDG was on-time, so you'd think the bus would've been waiting for us... not so. Even better, we had a new bus driver, who made 2 u-turns en route to the terminal building. The plane was parked at CDG's newest terminal, actually. The thing is, it was built by the French, so it partially collapsed in May 2004 and cannot be used at all. It is currently full of scaffoldings that are preventing the enormous structure from collapsing entirely. Being the busiest airport in France, you'd think tha...

Sorry for the long delay, but a wedding and honeymoon take a lot out of a guy, you know? I am happy to report that both activities went exceptionally well, and I am absolutely convinced at this point that I have the best friends and family that a guy could ask for - seriously. On to more serious matters, when did people start using cell phones in restrooms? Have you seen this? I've been travelling a lot lately and I have to say I am frightened by the number of times I find myself next to someone in an airport restroom who is chatting on his cell phone. That's just not right. "Hi Frank - I'm taking a whiz right now, but let's go ahead and talk about that business proposal..." Come on. I continue to be disappointed in the appalling service we get from airlines these days. Smaller seats, less food service ("here's your snack pack"), more frequent delays, general lack of customer service. Five of my last 6 flights were late for reasons other ...

There are a lot of things about Europe that are different from the US. Some things are different in a better way, other things are different in a bad way, and I guess a 3rd category would be some things that are just plain different. Charles DeGaulle airport is different in a bad way. They don't use jetways. In the US, this is not uncommon when you're looking at regional jets or small airports. CDG is the busiest airport in France, and on the way home I had to take two busses in between airplanes and the terminals. My plane from Paris to Kentucky was an airbus A-340. It's a nice plane. It's also enormous, and all 200+ passengers had to take a bus from the terminal to the plane, then walk across the tarmac and HIKE THE STAIRS up to the plane. Only the French... The flight was decent. Air France has food slightly better than Delta, and free wine even in economy class. It used to be that on an international business trip you would get to fly business class, but t...

I'd like to talk for a moment about espresso. Those of you who know me will recall that I am not a coffee drinker. Technically, this is still true. Since I have spent time here in France though, one thing I have picked up is the customary espresso that accompanies every meal. I was reluctant at first, having had so many mediocre experiences with American coffee. At one point, Frans Maas (the logical Dutchman on the team) said "how can you ever truly finish a meal if you don't take a coffee?" So I gave it a shot. To make a long stort short, coffee in Europe and coffee and America are two completely different things. Back home, we serve a watered down, bitter cup of bean juice that generally tastes like a cross between muddy water and turpentine. Here in France, if you ask for "un cafe" what you get is a cup of what we call espresso back home. This is an entirely different beverage. I heard it was made from the same raw material though, so I got curi...

Well I'm finally winding down this marathon trip to France. 46 days. I'm outta here Friday morning (6/9) and I can't wait to get back to my honey, my house, my dog... crazy things like air conditioning, heating, rooms larger than 8'x12', shower curtains, and the ability to drive to work. I spent this weekend in Clermont Ferrand and I was again reminded of why it was a good idea for me to have spent so many other weekends traveling. This place is absolutely dead on the weekends. There was an amish quilt exhibition at the art museum in town, but I decided to skip that. Sorry Mom. Instead I explored some more of the old city, ate a good kebab, and spent some time at the city gardens where the roses are in bloom. I caught up on sleep, took care of some wedding business, and just finished a nice TV dinner (chicken with lemon vegetable sauce + couscous). There's another thing I won't miss - eating alone. You can only go to restaurants so many times and as...

For our last day we explored Nice. It was Sunday morning, so it was really quiet until we wandered into the old section of town. There we found that the fish market and the butcher shop were doing a mean business. Stopped at the boulangerie for some breakfast and then an ice cream stand for dessert. The French, especially those along the Mediterranean coast, take their "glace" (ice cream) very seriously. Ice cream shops are more common than McDonald's back in the US. None of this Baskin Robbins mass-produced junk either - these places make their own ice cream, fresh and all-natural. It will blow you away. I opted for strawberry, Ben went for double chocolate. We wandered through the old town some more. The layout is like any old European city - winding narrow streets, small shops and cafes, residences upstairs with laundry hanging from the balconies. It's really charming, and again with Nice being on the coast, many of the buildings are brightly colored in p...

you don't need to be very smart. OK, his version is a bit more direct, but you get the idea. The adventures that Ben and I had in Monte Carlo are living proof of this. Saturday morning we headed off to Monte Carlo. The F1 race was Sunday, but at $400 a ticket, we weren't planning to see that anyway. Saturday was qualifying and two "minor league" races, plus we figured the crowds would be smaller and since we didn't have tickets for ANYTHING, we thought we'd have more luck on Saturday than Sunday. Monte Carlo is easily the most beautiful city I have ever visited - even better than Cannes. The core of the city is a mile square, horseshoe shaped collection off buildings around the gorgeous Monaco harbor. It's a city built on rocky cliffs, so the buildings are scattered at all different heights. It is also around the harbor that the F1 track is laid out. It uses city streets, making it unique on the F1 circuit - all the other races are at dedicated s...

... there are no unhappy people. I doubt I can effectively describe how beautiful this region is, but I will try. Ben and I visited 3 key cities this weekend along the "Cote d'Azur" which us Americans (and the British) refer to as the French Riviera. We stayed in Nice, and we took day trips to Cannes and Monte Carlo. Nice is a coastal town that, at first glance, looks a lot like maybe a town in Florida or on the Pacific coast somewhere. Palm trees line many of the streets, and many of the buildings are brightly colored. The weather was very nice, the best I've had yet in France, really. Upper 70s all weekend, sunshine, and a pleasant breeze blowing in off the Mediterranean. Our hotel was in the city center, but of course the real action is along the waterfront. Tons of boutique shops, cafes, beachfront restaurants. Just walking around the waterfront was entertainment enough. This being a Formula 1 weekend AND the culmination of the Cannes film festival, there...

Typing this to you while listening to "canned heat" on my iTunes on the TGV just outside Marseilles. I took the laptop to catch up on work, since I am taking a few days vacation here. After hitting the Cote d'Azur though, I've decided that I got enough work done over the past 4 hours, and the scenery is way too beautiful to be thinking about work! "I'm goin, I'm goin, where the water tastes like wine" How true. The Cote d'Azur is legendary for good living, so I am looking forward to seeing what another region of France has to offer. Ben has already arrived and will be meeting me at the train station. I have to say that this train is packed - more so than any other train I've taken so far. I think between the Cannes film festival, the national holiday today, and the F1 race this weekend, there are a lot of Frenchies on the move! The TGV is high speed from Lyon to Marseilles, but then it takes a left turn (east) to head along the coast li...

Sorry I've been neglecting the blog here, but it's been a busy weekend! I got to spend some much needed time with Ella (and away from work) this past weekend in Paris. Among other things, Ella and I decided that 7 weeks is just too much time to be apart, so I am sorting out a revised travel plan with my employer as we speak. We got to see the Louvre, Eiffel tower, a Paris boat cruise, Notre Dame, all the good stuff. We ate at some great restaurants and had a great little hotel just off the left bank of the Seine. We also took a side trip to the Chateaux of the Loire, which was really nice. We went to Blois and Chambord. It would be silly for me to try and describe these attractions - let's just say they are masterpieces of renaissance architecture and well worth the trip. This coming weekend I will be in Nice with Ben (groomsman). We are going to the Monte Carlo Grand Prix and the Cannes film festival, both of which I'm really excited about. These Frenchies are ...

Decided to stay in Clermont Ferrand this weekend and explore my "home base" town. Weather was nasty this morning but is clearing up currently, so I will likely explore some of the tourist walks through town later in the day. They eat different food over here of course, which some of you may find interesting. Here are some typical examples of meals I have had recently: 1) Shark, rice and marinana sauce 2) Confit of duck, lima beans and roast potatoes 3) Saucisson - a pork sausage that is a regional specialty of Auvergne, served with salad and truffade. This is probably the most typical meal I've had. Truffade is a skillet of roasted potatos, local cheeses and herbs. Excellent stuff. Potatoes are really popular in this region because they have cold winters here, and historically you wanted food that held up through the long winters! 4) Veal meatball (it was fancier than that, but you know what I mean when I say meatball) with potato cake and spinach 5) Herb crus...

I spent today in wine country, and it was an adventure. Upon arriving in Dijon, one of the things that I picked up was a brochure the burgundy producers' association puts out with a list of all the festivals going on each weekend in the summer. You need to know a bit about French wine here. Of course it's classified by region, and within each region you have sub-categories based on style, or specific towns within a region. So you've got about 30 small towns where Burgundy is made, and within each town you can have between 5 - 30 producers. It's overwhelming, but a happy dillema. The brochure informed me that Sauvigny le Beaune was having its wine festival May 6 & 7. Talk about good fortune - this is one of the towns producing Grand Crus - the best of the best. My original plan was to wake up Sunday morning, rent a car for the day, and drive out there. It's about 40 miles outside of Dijon. Ends up the car rental places here in town are only open from 5-9...

One important area of difference between Europe and the US that I forgot to mention is bathrooms. The bathrooms that you and I know, they do not exist in Europe. Not even close. Public toilets are smaller, and sometimes unisex. Many times you have to pay to use them. Hotel bathrooms are not bathrooms but "water closets." That's not just a different term, it more accurately describes the size of the things. Find a coat closet or linen closet in your home. This is the size of the average European bathroom. They do not understand the concept of a shower or a bath tub. They make half-hearted attempts at both, and fail miserably in each case. The first room they gave me in this hotel had a toilet so close to the wall that you could not sit on it, because there was no room for your knees. Neat huh? The whole bathroom was so small that you actually had to stand in the toilet in order to use the sink (I'm kidding). Also, the toilets in Europe, you need to tell th...

This weekend I have taken a train to Dijon, which is the regional capital of Burgundy. I think they also make some mustard here, but I'm going to have to check into that. I left this morning and arrived here at about 1pm. The forecast for the weekend is rain, but what can you do? I checked into my hotel and found that I have a nice balcony room on the 4th floor. I walked into town and it's really neat. Lots of timbre & plaster structures from the 1600s like you may expect to see in old England. They have an antiques district here that puts Royal street in New Orleans to shame - and that's a really hard thing to do. There is an open air market, plenty of boutique shops. The center of town is the old Ducal palace - home of the Dukes of Burgundy. There's some history there, but I forget what it is. I think the dukes got into a spat with the King of France at one point and there was an uprising or something. Whatever - I'll Google it later. Most importan...

I'd like to take a moment and review some of the fundamental differences between the US and western Europe. To start with, everything is smaller. Most things are a lot smaller. Older too - almost everything is older. In the US if it's 150 years old we make a museum out of it and charge admission. Here, 150 year old buildings are practically new, and they're just restaurants or shops or apartments. No big deal. People here eat a lot healthier than we do. Small breakfast, reasonable lunch, small dinner. In 11 days here I've only had 1 bit of fried food - the french fries on my Ketwah sandwich. On day 10 I cracked open some Coca-cola I had bought at the grocery store; my first taste of cola since I had been here. You don't order sodas in restaurants here - it's either water or wine. You finish every meal with a cup of coffee. I'm not talking about some 6 oz cup of tasteless weak java here, I'm talking about a 1oz shot of coffee that is so good a...

I'd like to take a moment to tell you about a new colleague I met this week. I met several, actually, but one stands out in particular. His name is Harry, and he is Dutch. The Dutch guys were not here last week at all, but all 3 are here now - Harry, Bart, and Frans. Bart and Frans showed up Monday morning, in fact, fresh off the plane from Amsterdam. Harry was supposed to be traveling with them, but he missed the plane. They told me he would be arriving later in the day, maybe 3pm, because he was going to catch a later flight. I didn't meet Harry until 7pm on Monday while we were all sitting at a bar and having a drink. He called Frans' cell phone trying to figure out which bar we had choosen and he finally found us. Harry is 62, always has a smile on his face, and he has a generally bewildered look about him most times. He always has two pair of glasses (one for reading, one for sun) hanging around his neck, and I have never seen him wear either one. When Harry mi...

For those of you who are curious, I learned some more about the Mistral wind that was blowing so VERY strong when I was in Avignon. The mistral is a strong, cold northwesterly wind system that blows from Southern France into the Gulf of Lions. Although strongest in the Gulf of Lions, with sustained winds often exceeding 40 kt, and gusts sometimes to 100 kt, its effects are often felt past Sicily into the eastern portion of the Mediterranean basin. Wave heights associated with the mistral are commonly 15-20 ft (4.5-6.0 m) and have sometimes reached a maximum height about 30 ft (9 m). The mistral is most common in winter and in spring with the strongest episodes tending to occur in the transition between those two seasons. Duration of effects with winds exceeding 30 kt for over 65 hours have been reported at some locations. It is an example of a katabatic wind, which is caused by air that is cooled over the mountains by the presence of a high pressure system or radiative cooling. In the ...